Three for today. W is for WIDOW, X is for XEROX, Y is for YONDER


 The A-Z Blog Challenge is winding down. I have enjoyed it even though I have not kept apace at one a day - just stayed in the game.

W - is for Widow

When your husband dies you become a widow.

We had just flown in from the East Coast in 1974 to be with the family in California. His father has had just died.

I remember sitting on the couch next to Jim's mother in her living room in California. She turned and looked at me, "I am a widow now, Ellouise." She seemed to listen to the words as she spoke them. Then she softly chanted them to herself.
"I am a widow now.
 I am a widow now.
I am a widow now."
over and over and over.

It seemed a bit strange to me at the time - but what did I know?

Now, I know why she did it - and I think I know how she may have felt.

I sometimes do it myself.

"I am a widow." "I am a widow." "I am a widow."

I think its possible I will be doing this for the remainder of my life.

That's all right - along with that chant  - reminding me of Jim - I am filled with 58 years of memories of the love and the life we had together. Remembering those days helps me to find a place for myself in a new life - where I remember Jim  - - - - as I keep going.

X - is for Xerox 

Today they call it the copier - but to me it will be forever the Xerox. The machine that makes copies and whose brand name Xerox became - and still is for me - a verb.

Jim bought a XEROX for his home office in the 1970s. I was ecstatic. I love technology and machines but this one more than others because it made copies. Good for workshop hand-outs, resumes, making invitations to art shows and a multitude of other things.

The machine could enlarge and shrink. WoW!!! This made it an art tool as well as an office
stand by.

Today there is a table top multi-tasking machine in Jim's office downstairs in our house. I think the brand name is "Brother". But that does not make any difference to me - it is now and ever will be the XEROX.

Its not working as hard as it did when Jim was here - he loved to run off multiple copies of patient records, bills, travel articles - anything he thought he needed or that others would enjoy.  I inherited an endless supply of paper - reams and reams of it - stacked in the storage closet.

I love hearing the machine come to life at the flip of a switch. Sounds like Jim is home.

Y - is for Yonder

When I grew up the grown ups would say, "Its over yonder." and I would go to get what ever they asked me to.

Yonder was not a mystery.

I am sure that I said to my children, "Please get the "whatever" for me. Its over yonder." And they did.

They still seem to know when I ask for something using my favorite "yonder" location.

But no one else does.

What has happened to that fine old word?
That perfectly good word that was not nailed down to one place.

I miss"the good ole yonder."

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