F is for Facing My Limitations
F is for Facing My Reality
Facing my realities and in this case I mean my limitations is HARD.
I want to do everything.
Never say no.
Saying I will go when I really did not want to and then HAD to.
Maybe you know these situations.
For me facing up and giving up something is HARD.
This week I wrote a note to a few art friends and faced up.
I cannot possibly produce several new "worthy" prints for a show in Venice - for a book that would be an international collaboration - by May 1. Actually not by anytime this summer. It all sounded so wonderful when I was told about it - an opportunity to jump at. And, I jumped. I love these kinds of things. Working with artists, making art, being part of a show - -
But, the truth is, I gave up a lot of that when I jumped into storytelling. When I fell in love with storytelling it took me over. No matter what you think at the out set- - serving two masters in the arts is HARD.
Twenty plus years ago I did not think about that. I did not face the reality of my limitations - of time and commitment and of creative and physical energy.
Jim said, "you are going to have to choose."
I said, "Maybe so, maybe so." But I did not believe him.
That was a mistake.
The maybe so - always depends on timing.
Have you experienced that?
Adding something else when your plate is already spilling over?
In my case in this current situation - I had already signed up for the Capital Fringe and am into developing a new show. That is all good.
At the same time I scheduled a House Concert for April - here at my house - and seeing how tear stained the place looked I decided to to scrub its face clean to hide my grieving before I re-opened my home theater. That also is all good.
Then I heard the "siren song" of the Italian show - and I jumped at that too........
That was not good -
two days ago I wrote to my friends and said, "I am so sorry - - I can't do it."
But, being tempered by grief and learning to flounder in the world alone - I am a bit wiser.
Hopefully next time I hear the sirens sing I will check my calendar FIRST - before I sign on to something new.
Maybe so. Maybe so.
Posted by ELLOUISESTORY