Is it really January 14?
How did that happen? I mean other than one minute, one second, one day at a time.
I had such plans for how I would alter my schdule, stay on track, focus - you know, get it together - in 2008. Ah, the best laid plans.
Once again - life is what happens OFF the list, not On the calendar.
Since we came back from California I have been getting ready for my show at Gallery 10. And learning and practicing the stories for my Rogue Tales program here in February and in California in March. Sounds straight forward, not too complicated - but then - LIFE intervenes. A friend dies; my mother stops eating and lands in the hopsital - our dog, Princess Leia, has diarrhea and keeps pooping on the carpet in the living room.
All things that are out of my control. And isn't that what lists and calendars are about - trying somehow to control our world?
To keep ourselves comfortable?
Yesterday Jim and I left Washington at 7:30 am to drive to North Carolina to see Mama - in the hospital. The skies were clear and the world looked lovely dispite some dire weather predictions. Traffic was light and Hwy 95 seemed wider and faster as we rocketed through Virginia.
My chatty kathy self was in full swing filling the car with conversation. I told Jim about a recent discussion on a storytellers listserve I follow where folks were writing about their personal "Bucket Lists. - a topic raised by the new movie with Jack Nicolson and Morgan Freeman who play two old dying men. "Granny Sue started it. A list of 20 things, including wanting to learn how to make moonshine. Stephen Hollen chimed in with his wish to tell on the big stage in Jonesborough. I have not made mine yet." Then I askd, " What would you put on your bucket list?"
Scenery flew by in the silence. At first I thought Jim was just letting the topic slide by with the fields. Then he said, " I want to fly an airplance. I want to take-off and land a plane."
Who was ready for that? I felt my chest tighten. Words began to rise in my throat - words to discourage him, words to get between him and that dream -words to edit HIS bucket list.
When I heard myself thinking of words to edit HIS bucket list - I realized I was thinking about my comfort not his dream. Was I really doing that?
Instead I said, " I thought you wanted to learn to play a musical instrument."
" That's right. I do.
AND, I want to fly a plane."
"Well I want to learn to sing a song. I know I will put that on my bucket list. Maybe we can do THAT together. You play something and I will sing."
"Sounds like a good idea."
Had we just completed a negotiation?
I saw him lookiing out the window. I wondered if he was thinking about how it would feel when he landed a plane for the first time.
So I started to hum an old song, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. - - - - -"
Maybe I could manage that.
My Bucket List has begun.