An Exercise in Practical Genealogy

Hello there. Leo here.

Because people don't pay much attention to a lion sitting on a shelf I see it all  with a lion's eye view.

In the days after Jim died Ellouise and her family spent a lot of time around the kitchen table talking about something they called the "eulogy" and then the obituary. It was all about the story they wanted to tell about Jim...

At first they wrote a time-line of "he did this and he did that" ... but no one liked it.  I heard Ellouise say, '' this is more like a resume than a story - it doesn't tell us much about what he did as a doctor because we weren't there to know that and because of patient privacy he did not tell us much about what happened in the office."  

They decided to ask other people about Jim - people who grew up with him, who worked with him, who knew him from different points of view. Since Jim, Jr. would deliver the eulogy he was delegated to call and talk to five key folks. This he did - and then they added a touching "good-bye" letter from one of his nephews and an appreciative letter Ellouise received from one of Jim's patients. As a result many voices told Jim's story when Jim, Jr. delivered his eulogy.

  

They published an obituary which was more like a resume history and let the eulogy add flesh to the story.

Ellouise, who came to storytelling through genealogy, called it "an exercise in practical genealogy" - - history and story tied together.

A story they were very happy to document concerned Mobile Medical Care, an organization which remained close to Jim's heart through-out his life.

From another article: 
James A. Schoettler, MD, who died of cancer on March 6, 2012 at the age of 80, was instrumental in the growth of Mobile Medical Care, Inc. (MobileMed), a non-profit organization that provides health care to the uninsured, low income, working poor and homeless in Montgomery County, MD.   If you are not aware of MobileMed, here is a link to its website: http://www.mobilemedicalcare.org/  and a link to Youtube with some additional information: http://youtube/zu5bvLegrIQ.  MobileMed, from very small beginnings around 1970, now has grown to serve over 7000 people annually in our community.

Dr. Schoettler, a successful psychiatrist who practiced medicine in Washington, DC and Montgomery County for over 40 years, joined MobileMed in its earliest days as a volunteer, and later served as its Medical Director (1976-84) and on its Board of Directors (1980 – 2001). He was still an Honorary Board Member at the time of his death. In 1986, he was honored by the Maryland State Senate for his work with MobileMed.

The following quote is from someone who knew him at the time. 

“I first met your father as a member of MobileMed's Board in the 70's and immediately knew  that ‘This is a good man.’ The staff were devoted to him and it  was easy to see why. "Doc" as they referred to him was available,  always respectful and tender in his evaluation of what needed doing

and assessing how he could help. Once, he saved MMC, the organization itself by going without salary for far too long I'm sure for his own finances but that was Jim through and through.”

Being a lion new to living with humans I wondered what all this really had to do with Jim  - since Ellouise is the storyteller  - until I heard someone ask, "Ellouise how did you get so interested in genealogy and family history anyway?'

"From Jim. He started looking up the Schoettler family before we went to Germany in 1985 - - so that we could find the town where his great grand-father came from.  I caught the genealogy bug from him... and that led me to storytelling.


Jim loved stories and storytelling. As a psychiatrist stories were the stuff of his business and he enjoyed listening to an being with storytellers. He called himself a professional listener - - -"

Reassembling

Red Triangle
printed papers collaged
e.schoettler


Made this collage in Venice.
Printed the papers
then cut them and
reassembled into a new compostion.

That's what I am doing now
with the pieces of my life.

Slowly
I have to be my own
new assemblage.

It's About Time

It's About Time
e. schoettler
collage


Kind of says it all for me right now.

NEW Video: Conversation with Jessica Piscitelli

In an interview with Ellouise Schoettler on Stories in Focus, Jessica Piscitelli, CEO and Founder of Better Said Than Done, talks about storytelling and tells a story.

Tales from Leo: Busy Days

Hello.
Leo here.

Ellouise has already written about her take on the "strange days" around here.
What she says is certainly true but there is more to it - thought I would give you another eye-view of the goings on.

Jim's Funeral Mass will be at their parish church The Shrine of the Most Blessed Sacrament this coming Saturday morning. For the past two weeks she's been making plans, writing lists, and getting things done. Yesterday she and her granddaughter Juliana completed the "program".

They laughed together as they switched font and rearranged the lay-out and occasionally Ellouise teared up, "I know he would love that you are helping me with this, Honey."
Ellouise switched from the formal picture to a smiling snapshot picture of Jim because in the picture he looks like he's ready to have a chat and that just fits the quotation for the front cover:
 "Grieve not, nor speak of me with tears,
      but laugh 
      and talk of me as if I were beside you."  From a Celtic Memorial.

Yesterday she and grand-daughter Alison ran errands together and ended up at Johnson's Florist where they picked out the perfect flowers - white orchids.
Today Ellouise is setting up her sewing machine to make the Pall - a symbol of Jim's Baptism - to be placed on his urn during the Mass.

I heard her telling a friend the other day, "I am glad to have had the time to work out all the details and make these personal things - but the truth is --- the waiting makes it harder." And there is still more waiting ahead because they have not had a call from Arlington with a date for Jim's burial.

Its not all domestic and ritual planning - sweetness and roses. Jim's obituary ran in the Washington Post over the week-end and two days later the local CVS Pharmacy they use called to ask about two prescriptions for narcotics which had been submitted with Jim's name as the patient. Freaky. Ellouise called the prescription insurance company and CVS called the police but because the pharmacy challenged it no one ever showed to pick up. So BEWARE.  Because of this Ellouise has called the local police station about some type of coverage at the house during the funeral. And--the tasteful ad cards are arriving for photos and videos of all the events.

All that goes along with the "he has died" calls I hear Ellouise making starting with Social Security etc etc. Some require certified marriage certificates so her sister Kathy is making a quick stop at the Vital Records Office at the Mecklenburg County Court House as they drive through Charlotte Thursday.
There is a mountain of business stuff to take care of. "I have only touched the tip of the iceberg that sank the Titanic."

Ellouise cried today when the USAA agent said - '' we will retire his member number of 51 years and yesterday when her  cousin called and told her something thing her mother - one of Ellouise's favorite aunts - said when her husband died years ago - 
"you get up everyday and go on- that's what he would want!

OK, I know, I am just a stuffed lion  - - but as I listened and watched I understood.
Women need to connect with the love, strength and wisdom of the old ones  - - the survivors  - - of their Tribe.

Strange Days

Made in Venice in happier days.


These are strange days.
Jim died March 6. His funeral Mass is this coming Saturday - March 24 at 11 am at the Shrine of the Most Blessed Sacrament, Chevy Chase, DC.
His Burial will be at Arlington National Cemetary when ever we are scheduled - which could be anytime up to months away.

My days are strange - filled with tears and event planning while caught in a limbo of waiting.

People are wonderfully kind and I deeply appreciate the beautiful flowers, food, calls, cards and emails.
I know now that its not the words you send that matter - its the fact that you thought to reach out that is the comfort.  Deepest thanks.

Our family has drawn close - which is such a gift.
But underneath the closeness I feel such an aloneness - missing Jim. I now have to learn how to navigate the world on my own.

Many have offered suggestions  - all good hearted and kind - - - but I remember meeting a woman on a train from Venice to Munich 25 years ago who told me her story as she wept in the seat next to me:
  "My husband died a few weeks ago. We had planned this trip to Europe - our first - and when he died - my niece convinced me to come with them as we had planned. That's why I am here. Making the trip without him - but it was a mistake to come. I should have waited... until I was ready."

The one thing I am sure of -- is that I will be telling stories. Jim wanted that for me - because I love it.
But more, he believed in me and in the value of my stories. A storyteller friend told me recently, " Ellouise, he told me how much he believed your stories are important and that they touch the people who hear them."

I will take time now to sort myself out.

My first scheduled date is the Capital Fringe, Washington, DC - July 2012 - when I will present PUSHING BOUNDARIES - my ERA memoir. Dates to be announced.
If you are in the area I hope you will come to hear this story of personal and social transformation.

Tales from Leo: More on Winding Up

Hello - Leo here. Just wanted to tell you how things are going. People have asked to post information about when Jim's funeral will be -- so instead of my writing it all out I am using parts of an email Ellouise wrote to her family this afternoon.

"We have just finalized the arrangements for Jim’s funeral, and I wanted to let you know what we are planning.  

We will be holding a funeral mass followed by a simple reception on Saturday, March 24^th at 11 am at our parish,church, the Shrine of the Most Blessed Sacrament, in Chevy Chase (http://www.blessedsacramentdc.org/).      At the end of the mass before the reception there will be a short opportunity for sharing remembrances.  

The death notice will be published in the Washington Post the week of the funeral. 

It will be several months until Jim’s ashes can be interred at Arlington National Cemetery where he will have a full military honors ceremony.

As you can imagine, this is a very difficult time for our family. We knew that Jim's cancer was winning this battle but we never expected he would go so quickly -- within only 2 weeks of coming home from the hospital. We are very grateful that we could care for him so that  he could pass away in his own home, which is what he so wanted.  

  

Jim and I appreciated all your prayers and well wishes throughout his illness, and we hope you will continue to pray for him.
 

Love,

Ellouise"

If you are wondering how Ellouise is getting along, I can tell you she has good times and sad times. Her tribe has gathered around her and that helps tremendously and she will be forever grateful for their watching out for her - as well as for all the sweet kindnesses of many people.

She is focused on home and her family but I heard her tell a friend, "I think storytelling may save me later ---- that's what Jim wanted."

Tales from Leo: Winding Up

Hello. It's Leo here.

Jim has died. March 6 at 4:15 pm. In his bed at home with Ellouise holding him.
 Ellouise and her closest family had time at home with him afterwards - I heard Ellouise saying, "this is one of the rewards of being with Hospice and staying at home."

Watching them I can tell you it was loving, beautiful and a very special time.

Ellouise told the Hospice Chaplin that she will write about this experience later but right now she is very busy
with arrangements for his Memorial Mass. "I want it to celebrate his life and to be something he would love."

There is a little time. Robin and her family will return from California. Jim will be buried later at Arlington National Cemetery.

How is Ellouise? Incredibly sad --- but making it through with help from her family and from her "tribe"... some close by and some from far away who come and wash the dishes, make Ratatouille, sing songs, send cards, call, write - or post.
She sends love to all.

Leo Tales: Going On

Hello. Its Leo here.

I haven't written before because Ellouise has not plugged in her computer since my last post. "Its too private to write about." she told her daughter Robin.

But I can tell you a few things about working with Hospice because I watch everything that happens here that has to do with Jim.

When a patient comes under the care of Montgomery Hospice they are assigned to a team: a chaplin, a social worker and the RN - their nurse. All fine and caring people!
In Jim's case he as also assigned a health care aide - the marvelous Elizabeth - who now comes five days a week to take care of him. He trusts her completely and she is a blessing in their lives.

In what I see Ellouise is the main caregiver- meaning she handles all the medicines, the food and general care etc. It is a big job and some nights she is really tired out. She finally went out to get her hair cut the other day and Jim said, "good" when she came home. I heard the nurse telling her "you have to take care of yourself. I tell that to all my families." She says, "its hard to leave - - "

The family has stepped in - and someone is here all the time - to be with Jim, to help with the care and to support Ellouise. They are a wonderful bunch who love their dad quite a lot. I heard Ellouise tell Jim, "We are so blessed."

The long and the short of it is that finally she called an agency and hired a CNA - that's a certified nursing aide and a strong, gentle and compassionate Ethiopian man entered their lives. Ellouise still manages Jim's care and medicines but now they have back-up and support from someone who is capable and well-trained. I heard Ellouise tell Jim's RN, "look I am a nursing school drop-out -- what do I know?"

"Ellouise, TLC is your medicine! Your job is to love him".

"Well that's not a problem for me. I have been loving him for 57 years."

Leo Tales - Connecting

Hello, again. Leo here.

I tell you the people around here are really big on connecting - with each other as well as with folks who live far away.

Their son has set up the televison set so that they can talk to family members and friends from coast to coast on Skype and the iPhone talk program. I forget what they call it.  They have choices. They can dial on something called Skype, or they can use Ellouise's iPad or you know what they talk to pictures on their iPhones.

The other night they called Ellouise's sister in Indiana. She was talking on her little iPhone and they were talking at this end on the iPad.  But it matched up and they were all laughing and enjoying it. Jim held the dog up to see what was going on but they completely forgot about me. That's OK. They were a sight to watch.

This house can  be pretty noisy. Every one of the folks around here has a cell phone of some kind and the phones all play a different tune when it rings.  I have noticed that Ellouise only answers her cell phone. She has started letting what she calls the "Home phone" ring through and then she returns calls later. I heard her tell her daughter, "I am so grateful friends are calling to see how we are getting along and I do want to talk to everybody - but there is so much to do here that sometimes I can't stop what I am doing - right on the minute the phone rings - so I call back. I hope people understand."

Ellouise and Jim both text - and that's by far the quieter way.

Yea, they are settling in. Establishing a routine in a new normal.

Leo Tales 1

Hello. My name is Leo.

Ellouise and Jim's friend Susan brought me to Jim as his new mascot when he was in Sibley Hospital last week.  She told him she chose me - a lion with a red velvet heart around my neck - because he is a lion of a man with a big heart.

Jim was discharged from Sibley last Friday and is now at home with Ellouise taking care of him. Montgomery Hospice is supporting Jim's case. They say their goal is to provide care and comfort to the patient and support for the families and especially the principal care-giver - that's Ellouise.

Ellouise tells people she is learning that being under the wings of hospice means more than just end-of life care. Studies show that hospice care can actually support improvement in a patient's status.

1. Today Jim's team came for a visit - to meet Jim and Ellouise and the family. The team is comprised of a chaplin, a social worker and a nurse (RN). The members of this team are an amazingly good fit for Jim and the family. These three will guide all aspects of Jim's care as well as work with the family.

2. Ellouise, with help from family members, is the principal care-giver. It is a 24/7 all-encompassing job until Jim regains some of his strength and can ambulate more on his own as they all hope he will.

3. Fortunately having Jim's office suite on the ground floor of their home provides a comfortable setting
for Jim and Ellouise. Although you could establish a patient zone in any place they are grateful for how their space is working out.

It is late. Ellouise is tired so this has to wind up for now. There are some who have followed and supported Jim in his struggle with cancer so I want to post for them to know how things are going and toask - please keep Jim in your prayers.

Finding Quilt Scraps

Going through my photos I found this picture I took of the auditorium when Jim and I visited at Piedmont Junior High School in Charlotte, NC last February. I was on a pilgrimage to my past in observance of my 75th birthday.

People who move away from their childhood hometowns are probably the ones who make these kinds of trips to the past. For me as a storyteller its also a way to freshen the memories or find things that I have forgotten.

When I pulled open the side door to the auditorium I was transported across the years to 1949 - 1951. The room has been restored and it looks exactly as it did on the first day of the seventh grade. That felt so good! I remembered when our seventh grade home room danced the minuet for a George Washington's Birthday program. We had practiced the dance for a month and in class time folded pink crepe paper into cherry blossoms to attach to a large limb that became the fabled cherry tree.

Miss Phoebe Reynolds was my 7th grade homeroom teacher. It took me weeks to look at her first name and pronounce it correctly. Miss Reynolds was in charge of the audio-visuals - which in that time was the 16 mm movie projector. Several boys set up the projector, loaded the film and then ran the movie during the class period. I was fascinated by that movie projector. I aggravated the boys until they showed me how to set it up and load the film. When Miss Reynolds saw that I had mastered it she recruited me to their team and I showed the Kotex menstruation films for the 8th grade Home Ec classes. Finally she relented and assigned me to more than the "girl" films.

I told my first true family story in Miss Reynolds class. It was exhilarating to hear my classmates laughing at my father's antics. Never forgot that great feeling. My start as a storyteller.

More memory scraps for my "me" quilt.

How is your quilt coming along?

Today's epiphany

My cousin says her husband recently stumped her with this joke:

"how many Vietnam vets does it take to put in a light bulb?" when she finally gave up he laughed.
" How could you know. You weren't there."

I laughed.

And then the message really hit me.

How can we judge any situation we have not lived
and more to the point
give advice on how somebody who is living it
should handle things?

A bit like the old adage
you don't understand until
you walk in my shoes.

What ever -

I am going to try to remember the joke and my epiphany.

NEW Video: Conversation with storyteller Donna Ingham

When Texas storyteller Donna Ingham came to Washington last month for some sightseeing we were happy to schedule an evening of her stories at Friendship Heights Village Community Center and this interview for Stories in Focus. She tells us that she was thrust into storytelling and I for one am really glad that happened. Enjoy!

A Lucky Find

This stash of letters between two young people in North Carolina was a very lucky find.

There are 68 letters dated 1942 - 1944 in this bundle I found in a collection of family papers being sold in a used bookstore. They came from an old woman's attic in Charlotte, NC.

The letters are all written by the same young man to his sweetheart, Jane, from the time he was in a boarding school, to his days as a college student at The Citadel in South Carolina and then Davidson College in North Carolina. In 1944 the boy was drafted into the Army and the subjects of the letters shifts from parties to combat training.

When I found them they were tied together with a blue ribbon - I presume Jane kept them. I wonder if they married and she kept the letters or - as happened in many cases - was he a casualty of the war - - and this packet of letters was her only connection with her young love.

He sounds so young and naieve as he declares himself to his love - pleading with her to write more often and to save dances for him. I imagined him as Robert Walker played the young soldier-grandson in the classic WWII home-front movie, Since You Went Away.  His love deepens in this two year period and he thinks of her endlessly when he goes away to the Army. He tells her of the fellowship with the other new soldiers and describes the card sharks and the wise guys in his barracks. He also writes of the battle trainings and although he does not say so out right he hints at his fear.

Through these letters you have a glimpse of the young men of WWII who were pulled away from schools, colleges and jobs and sent to battle.

I  love old letters. They are a magic carpet to the past.

Paperwork

Meditation
collage
e. schoettler


Trying to catch up with paperwork.
I have come to the place where its so overdue - I can throw some away.
Now that's not all bad.
Would be better if I saw that in the first place and did not hang on to it.
To Clutter up the desk, the dining room table and my mind.

I need to remind myself who's boss here

I make these to-do lists myself.

Well, lady, its time to ease up a bit.

Do you cut yourself some slack?

Red Socks

You have to love red socks!


Feeling very with-it tonight.  I ordered my groceries from www.Safeway.com today. Did not to leave the house to  finish my shopping. Tomorrow the truck will come and the driver will carry the bags into  tthe house.  Wow. $9.95 fee for that strikes me as reasonable. I saved more than that in the impulse spending I could not do. A new era dawns.

And - - it saves on gas and reduces our carbon foot print.

That sounds like four birds with one stone to me!

Keeping it Cool

The latest slogan around is Old is the New Cool. At 75 I agree - but there is also a hitch. Old also has powerful surprises in store and getting old is not for the faint hearted.

For the time being Jim and I are some what home bound as he recovers from what turned out to be a small stroke.

We are so fortunate - it was an infarct - a small clot - - which is now dissolving. At first he could not say clearly what he was thinking and his balance was off -- he became a fall risk.  Anyone who has experienced this knows how frustrating it is for the patient and everyone else - and how scary the question "will it get better" is.

In Jim's case - with the assistance of a physical therapist and a speech therapist who come to our house, a nurse who checks in and good doctors things are turning out well. God Bless Medicare and our health insurance.

Oh, did I mention me - as the full time Nurse Ratchett. I come free.

We have learned a few things:

Keep everything simple from cooking to household chores.

Keep laughing and stay engaged with the outside world through TV, computer and telephone - avoid the
    feeling of isolation as much as you can.

Keeping up with the treatment schedule is a challenge. 3 therapists (who come to the home), a nurse,   and an aide - plus visits outside to doctors. We can't move without consulting our calendar.  Fortunately my career includes several jobs where I organized and coordinated challenging projects - - all that experience is coming in handy these days. Everyone does their calendars differently - just be sure you have one ---and oh, yes, keep the phone numbers. My brain these days is a hot pink composition book. I write everything in it.

Order groceries - Turn back the clock to your grandmother's day and sign up for Safeway and/or Giant delivery. Fortunately we have it in our area as well as pharmacies that bring medications to the door.

Make every trip to a doctor a stop and shop trip as well. I have started to plan my routes in order to
   pick up other stuff we need. Jim has become a patient car-sitter while I dash in and out of pharmacies, cleaners, and grocery stores.

Work with the therapist - our grand-daughter helps Jim with the speech-therapy homework, our son
   added newspapers and games to the iPad for Jim, Scrabble is a great game for word recognition and
   problem solving, also cross word puzzles. Physical therapy exercises are good time fillers.

The computer is a blessing for keeping up with work and staying in-touch.

You need help. Don't be afraid to ask for it. Our family has been wonderful. Bringing in groceries, doing dishes, carrying in wood, etc. etc. One night our son proved himself a good plumber so that I could keep washing. Our daughters scan the scene and just do what needs doing. And all of them visit frequently - laughter and conversation and hugs are great medicine.

Friends too. Prayers, wonderful cards and messages, and phone calls - because I can tell you from first   hand  - - the home-bound feel isolated - not just the patient but the spouse too. Something I never fully understood before. The old saying, "not until you walk in my shoes" is very real and true.
From the care-giver's side - there is not enough time in the day to get it all done.

However - its all worth it if you keep your eye on the prize.

Maybe that's the cool in old.

A Texas Welcome

Now, that's a real Texas long horn!

Better and Better

 
Hard to believe that Jim was released from the hospital two weeks ago today. We have been so busy settling into a new routine that the days have telescoped into each other.

For years we have said that this was a good house because it had a potential apartment on the ground floor - but you know I never really thought we would use these rooms as an apartment. Never say Never.  Its working quite well and living in this smaller space has convinced Jim and me that we really do not need the whole house - and maybe we will move - once we fill several dumpsters.

But first we are learning some valuable lessons. An unexpected upset in your life gives you some some new perspectives on what is really important.

I find that I get along just fine with fewer clothes - alternating several outfits and washing every night. Sure the rest of my wardrobe is upstairs and I could easily retrieve it - but why? That's just the tip of the iceberg. There is so much stuff - our treasures - filling our house and these days we get along perfectly well without any of it.

The real benefit is that Jim and I are together being there for each other as he gets better.
Its a beautiful time. People ask us how does it feel to be married to the same person for more than fifty years..... its richer than we ever imagined it would be. We are grateful.

Aesop and EEOV

Tonight I am selecting and practicing stories to tape tomorrow for Stories in Time
on Channel 16 and have decided to tell a few Aesop Fables. Re-reading and finding myself noticing and attracted to new fables.

How about Belling the Cat - for a relevant moral. The mice need a way to be warned when the cat is creeping up on them. Several smart one say, "lets put a bell around her neck."

"Good idea," they all agree until a wise elder asks the question -
"Who will put the bell around the cat's neck?"

Aesop's moral: "It's easy to come up with ideas but harder to put them into action."

Makes sense to me.


Manoli Canoli

Manoli Canoli is a former Connecticut Avenue Deli that's been redone into a charming Mediterrean-like retreat.

One night this week I had a nice dinner at
Manoli Canoli which is our favorite Chevy Chase restaurant. It reminds us of  a neighborhood ristorante you would find in Italy. Over five years it has become a familiar destination for locals and we often see people we know. This gives Manoli Canoli a small town feeling in a large metropolitan area.

Recently Laura Thornton wrote this article for the Chevy Chase Patch and told the story of this place.

Jim and I always order the Caprese for a starter - you know slices of homemade mozzarella cheese and tomatoes, drizzled with the house EVOO made in Greece - topped with fresh basil leaves. YUMMMM!

What's your favorite spot in your neighborhood?

Urban Deer at Lunch

Urban deer enjoying a mid-afternoon snack of the lawn at the Audubon Naturalist Society, Chevy Chase, MD.

Urban growth, the felling of trees on an acreage to make way for new elegant houses to be exact, displaced their ancestors a dozen years ago and they fled to a near-by refuge of the wooded grounds of the Audubon.

They love to snack on grasses and anything remotely lovely that grows in your yard cutting the leaves precisely with their sharp little teeth.

However, I still love seeing them on our neighborhood street because it makes me feel a bit closer to Nature.

Adjusting

Life is just full of surprises.

Jim was released from the hospital last Monday.

We expected to step slowly back into our old normal. Well no. Tuesday morning Jim collapsed in the shower and someday it will be a funny story to tell ... it was a Laurel and Hardy routine getting him back on his feet. Clearly something was amiss and they had missed it in the hospital.

This was an MS attack ...we recognize them. more than that we needed help...and he was discharged without orders for in-home assistance. Fortunately Jim's Primary Care doctor intervened and now we do have PT and an OT coming to our home, an occasional nurse, and an aide three times a week to help Jim in the shower.

And Me.

Let me tell you ... The first few days were a nightmare as I worked to get some kind of routine that included all the medical stuff Jim did for himself, taking care of him and all the other stuff that goes along with eating three meals a day and having clean clothes. You know multi-tasking on the grand scale.
Our kids have been wonderful
and we could not have managed without them.

I have learned a few things to share:

Write everything down. Not just the calendar but the daily list of medications you give, medical instructions, grocery lists - the works. Don't rely just on memory. My old itty bitty bit of incompleted nurses training at Johns Hopkins is coming back - so far as charting is concerned. As well as the experience learned from being a professional "coordinator". So ---- this is why I had those jobs.

Think ahead. Allow extra time to get to outside doctor appointments and don't leave things to the last minute because someone who has balance issues cannot move as fast on you do.

Cancel as many things as you can that you had planned to do before all this happened. You cannot leave someone who is a "fall risk" on their own.

Be prepared to do everything in the house yourself while your partner recovers. For instance I am pretty proud that now I can make a decent fire in the wood stove in the den - makes me feel like a pioneer woman.

Simplify! Simplify! Simplify!

Look around for options to make the home situation more recovery friendly. We are fortunate we have a ground level back entrance and rooms Jim used as his office reception area and consultation room with a full bath and the utility room on the same floor. Using a blow-up bed on legs, which is quite comfortable, the consultation room quickly transformed into a bedroom and the reception room is a pleasant living room with a wood stove.

Be realistic. I keep thinking I will get some writing done or practice storytelling or other things. Doesn't happen. The days are filled with routine tasks that are the nuts and bolts of medical recovery.

Be patient. Somedays that is really hard for me. I keep telling myself I am not the first and won't be the last person to face these challenges.

Try to keep laughing!  Yesterday I called my bestest friend in PA. She and I have known each other since we were Girl Scouts together in Charlotte, NC. She knows me like few do.

When I was telling her how sweet our neighbor has been - pushing the trash cans up the drive and other things - I said "I feel like I should make a cake to thank."

"oh, Lord Ellouise, how Southern of you. You sound like my mother. Well-- all I can say is -  if you do make that cake - - don't forget to crack the coconut yourself and don't scrape your knuckles on the grater and spill blood on the cake as you sprinkle the coconut on the top of the white icing."

We burst out laughing - and laughed and laughed. And I felt better.

Friends are the balm that heals.

NEW Video: Conversation with Storyteller Arianna Ross

Brenda Starr of the Chevy Chase Patch

Remember reading comic books? I loved them. Brenda Starr: Reporter was one of my favorites.

I read her adventures and fantasized that I too would write for a newspaper.

The Christmas I was 14 Santa Claus brought me a Kodak brownie camera and I carried it to Piedmont Junior High School and everywhere else so that I could snap pictures of people and places. I never saw the pictures though because I did not have the money to have them developed - remember black and white film. Oh, well!

I still carry a camera in my purse - and fill it with digital images that I post here on this blog. To my way of thinking digital filmless photography is one of the greatest advances of the 20th century. At least in my world.

In 1985 I carried that vivid memory of Brenda Starr as I proudly wore a PRESS PASS for Women Artists News at the UN Conference on Women in Nairobi, Kenya and carried pen and paper everywhere. We did not call in any stories actually but we did have ACCESS to all the events


That's part of why I started my blog six years ago and love this place to write and publish. And, its free.

With that backstory you will understand how delighted I was recently when Laura Thornton, editor of the CHEVY CHASE PATCH invited me to be a blogger on her paper.
CHEVY CHASE PATCH is one of the on line local newspapers that are part of the nationwide PATCH system. Here is my first post.

I will be posting once a week and my head is swirling with ideas for covering many local people and places.

Taking pictures, yes, but I am not wearing my camera around my neck - just carrying my iPhone with the camera at the ready.

Be Prepared

Woman
collage
e. schoettler


This poor woman looks about like I feel right now.
Frazzled.


We are starting out 2012 with some memorable experiences:

A few evenings ago we took a wild ride in a Volunteer Rescue truck-ambulance. Jim was strapped to a stretcher and the stretcher was locked onto the floor of the truck. Me - I was strapped into an upright seat riding backwards as the ambulance bumped and lurched up and down metro Washington streets toward Sibley Hospital making me slightly nauseous. It felt like riding a worn out carnival attraction. Except - - there were four really capable folks in charge taking care of the situation. And, I was glad to be with them.

Why did I call an ambulance instead of driving him myself? Well, not because I wanted this excitement or a scene outside our front door when the ambulance  - with red lights flashing - drove up and spilled out the stretcher and the four EMT folks. I called them because Jim was in pain - severe pain - that was new - in his abdomen - we had no idea what it was - and I was afraid to take him in case something untoward would happen that I could not handle while I was driving. All the medical folks I have talked to have assured me I made the right decision. SO - - I am passing this along. Maybe our experience will serve you well some day.

Here are other bits of advice.

Take food when you go to an Emergency Room - because you are going to be there for a L O N G time - and by the time you think about your being hungry - all cafeterias will be closed and your only choices will be stale in a tall class snack machine. Oh, yes, hopefully you have change or you will be locked out of that food. I wish I had packed some sandwiches while we were waiting for the Rescue truck to arrive.

Take your toothbrush - you'll feel better eventually because you have it with you.

Take a computer - or iPad or anything else that will connect to the internet - so you can do work, read your email and Facebook or, hey, watch movies streaming on Netflix. Most hospitals have Wi Fi.

Take any medicines you take regularly in the evening if you are not the patient.

If you can, take a notebook and pen or pencil so you can catch the stories all around you.

In other words,  remember the Scout Motto - BE PREPARED.

Changes

Our life has changed.

It seemed to happen slowly - but I think what really happened is that I refused to acknowledge the changes as they occurred and built up.

Jim and I live with Cancer
 - and many times it distorts your view of your world.
Jim's cancer came back November two years ago. The new tumors were situated in such a way that more surgery to remove them was not an option. For those two years a program of chemo maintenance kept the tumors at bay. Then last summer for good reason the doctor thought a vacation from Chemo was in order to give Jim's body a rest. Within two months the tumors became active again. The old drug was not effective and they have been trying a new chemo drug. We can't tell about its effect on the tumors yet - but we can see the toll it is taking on Jim. Recovering while battling cancer is tough. You need support and more physical help than you like.

The first new trouble began in Texas. This past November we went to Texas so that I could tell stories at the George West Storytelling Festival. And, so that Jim and I could re-visit San Antonio where we lived with our young children in the late 1950s. Our son Jimmy and his wife Monica came with us for the first several days in San Antonio and it was a delicious time - remembering and telling family stories and touching base with old memories in a new way - showing Jimmy where we lived and where his Daddy worked.

The storytelling festival was Fun. People were lovely. Stories were great. But--- behind the scenes Jim began having more discomfort than before and it was difficult to paste on a smile and hide our situation - especially far from home and the doctors we trust - even though Jim often doubles as his own doctor  - and does a real fine job at it.

That ramped up the stress. It was like living two realities.

That was early November.

Since then things have continued to change and I can't pretend any longer that they haven't.

You see - I am a spoiled woman. A feminist yes, but a spoiled woman all the same - because Jim was always standing tall beside me and I leaned on him. 

Now we are swapping roles a bit - and this is one spoiled woman who is having to stand tall - it is my turn to BE THERE and let Jim lean my way while he gathers his strength to work with the drugs.

Priorities are shifting.

My lists are changing.

I am changing.

For a start - I am taking off my phoney smile - - - smiling honestly and grateful for the real blessings in my life - and I am telling the truth - -

Second, I am rethinking my choices - about the two things I am most truly passionate about -Jim and storytelling.

For the time being - its Jim first, storytelling second -
Cutting back on a few things -
focusing on the ones I really want to do.
i.e.
The New Front Porch radio show, my TV shows, some performances, 

Last year I celebrated my Diamond Jubilee
to walk in my own footsteps, tell the old stories and gather new ones.

This year, like many an Academic - - I am taking a sabbatical -
a breather -
to re-examine my BRAND -
answer questions like
HOW do I want to be a storyteller
and
WHAT STORIES do I want to tell.

maybe I will tell a few stories about that.

More will be revealed
but I can promise one thing
Jim will be at the CENTER of it all.

Thinning Out

Pages from an old 1950s Charlotte Observer that I had saved in a box in my studio finally see the light of day again in this collage. I clung to those pages for years as if by keeping them I would never lose those past days.

Funny - once I used some of the stack I had been preserving in a series of small collages it felt all right to toss the rest away.

Holding on is one of my problems. Perhaps its a hang-over from my mother's "depression - era" thinking about things. She used to say that we could not understand because we had not lived through those times.
I am sure that's true.

However I lived through some tough times with Mama and Daddy which left me clutching useless things for protection even though I did not need to.  Then on top of that I embraced collage making - which requires collecting and storing the world's discards - ditritus to be transformed into art.

For some time - holding on - is something I have wanted to face and work on - - to turn that holding on into letting go - and see what happens. People say you open doors for new work and new ideas when you stop holding on to old ideas and old materials. We shall see.

Recently I accepted help with thinning the accumulated "stuff" that has been overwhelming us in the house we have lived in for more than 40 years. My studio was a particularly tough job. At first it was extremely difficult to toss useless possibilities into the trash bags - until I began to see space opening up on shelves that had been stacked and packed with bits and pieces.

We found forgotten things - bringing back memories - resurrecting stories. All that had been buried - out of sight - hidden - robbing me of parts of myself.

I am still sorting and sifting and tossing - - feeling lighter.

Its a feeling I want to continue.

Happy New Year - Looking for Blue Skies.

starting 2012
looking for blue skies
smooth sailing
and
happy times.

Wishing the same for you!




the sun is shining
skies are blue
taking stock
and feeling grateful for the blessings in our life.

Jim and the family first

then looking ahead to several projects
which will keep me hopping
and learning new tricks

stories to tell
at Friendship in February
Stone Soup Storytelling Festival
in April
Pushing Boundaries - my ERA memoir -
here in DC
in March.

dusting off my textiles
to be part of a show
at the Ratner Museum in February

plus the TV shows
and talking to folks on the
New Front Porch
on World of Storytelling Radio
the technical issues for the radio
show have had such
a steep learning curve that
people probably think I have dropped
that ball.
No way.

would you say - that even as I
cut out a few things
my dance card is full.

no New Years Resolutions this year
just telling myself to
keep "balancing"
so that what's most important
Jim and family
are always at the top of the list.

where they belong.

56 Years and a Video Story: The Wedding Dress

Ellouise and Jim Schoettler

56 Years ago today

December 30, 1955
Assumption Catholic Church
Charlotte, NC





I tell a story - The Wedding Dress - about the dress in the picture.
To celebrate our Anniversary I am posting a video version of the story - it took almost 40 years for the story to jell.



This is a true story that was talked about in our family from the day I purchased my dream wedding dress in a thrift shop in Fresno, CA. The story blossomed with each new life-change - my daughter's wedding to the births of her children. That's one of the joys of family stories - they grow and change with life.

This telling was recorded in 2009 for the Stories in Time TV program. I often tell it because I love it.
My daughter Robin Schoettler Fox is a writer. She published her version of this story.

NEW VIDEO: Conversation with storyteller Elizabeth Ellis

Texas storyteller Elizabeth Ellis came to town and we had a chance to chat on camera at Channel 16 for Stories in Focus. Not surprising that this conversation is loaded with just what you expect from Elizabeth, wisdom and good conversation. Enjoy.

NEW VIDEO: Conversation with storyteller Adam Booth

Recently my friend Adam Booth came to town and we had fun with a conversation about storytelling on camera at Channel 16 for Stories in Focus - - with the plus of one of Adam's stories. Hope you enjoy it.

Video: Christmas Traditions

5 days until Christmas




Do you remember how slowly 
time moved when you were a kid?
Now it flies by - - -

In this video I have tied an old English poem, a sweet personal memory and a bit of history together for a story.



Traditions are passed down from generation to generation in our families. Sometimes we are lucky enough to know where they come from.

Re-Gifting - 2

Jim and I are not
shopping in the Malls this year
and
to tell you the truth
it is a relief

Sticking to 
shopping at home
has taken us quite a while
to select the gifts

The first rule for Re-gifting
is that
the gifts have to be carefully chosen
otherwise
its just clearing out

so we have taken a lot of time
to think
about the people we are giving to
and
to choose gifts that speak of them


Believe it or not - this is harder
it takes more effort
to re-gift
than to pick up the new and shiny
in a store

Second rule:
you have to be
willing
to part with one of the treasures.

Thinking it would simplify things
I suggested we decide on a theme
 - - books - -

Strangely that did not make the chosing
easier
it made it more difficult.

its taken quite a bit of sifting and rummaging 
to find just the one
a book -
that connects with each person
from the ones that Jim and I have loved
and kept


But voila

last night we finished the list
today
we wrap!

After Christmas
I will
post the titles along with the who and why of our choices.

Hope you have
also completed your shopping
and moved on
to wrapping.

                                                                                   Happy Holidays.

Nanny's Christmas Ditty

Nanny's Old English Christmas Ditty

Playing with another way to tell as story or a bit of a story. Lots to learn - that's for sure - but it really is fun.

If my friends, Bernadette Nason and Geraldine Buckley had recorded Nanny's little bit they would be charming you with their wonderful, authentic British accents. However, when Nanny taught it to me she spoke with a very fine North Carolina soft drawl - even though Elizabeth Grose, her London-born grandmother must have been speaking the "King's English" when she taught it to Nanny.


First, I recorded the "ditty" into Garage Band - then selected the picture, a photo I took outside Gettysburg and later digitally altered - used IMovieHD to create the "movie".

What's not to love about technology!

A Different Prayer

Collaged Book
collage
e.schoetttler



I made this book
from magazine scraps
the night before Jim
had serious surgery
20 years ago.

Worried and afraid
I worked all night
at the kitchen table
snipping colored scraps
from a magazine
hardly knowing what I was doing
just following an instinct
to make a pattern of images.

These days I am once again
worried and afraid
for Jim
cancer a mean and silent menace
after two years of quiet
has re-emerged
and is threatening.

These nights I use technology
for diversion
learning new skills
editing audio files for
The New Front Porch radio program
or watching streaming Net Flix
movies into the wee hours.

Whatever I am doing
is a prayer for healing.

Story too is prayer
gathering
bits of love
precious moments
memories
to
stitch a healing shawl.

Collage and noodling

Altered Card Series
collage
e. schoettler





Whenever
I don't have anything
to write about
I pull up a picture.

Don't they say
a picture is worth
1000 words?

Guess what they are - - -
wish I knew.

Pride and Prejudice at Round House Theater

 Round House Theater production of Pride and Prejudice.

Sometimes an impulse really turns out well.The reviews have been so outstanding that Jim and I decided to give an afternoon with Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy to our local family for a holiday treat. It did not disappoint - the reviews led us well - a delightful afternoon.

First: the set was marvelous - a large rotating box - a doll's house - that opened to the different rooms. Action took place in and around it. The movement created a very enjoyable and dynamic environment.

Second: an excellent cast who were obviously enjoying the play and playing it. I doubt anyone would disagree when I say that the A&E version of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice sets a gold standard for presenting the story and characters - for me no one can top Colin Firth's Mr. Darcy. That said - I want to credit this cast with a very fine job.

Third: For this production the interpretation was totally true to the book and Jane Austen's words however it chose to draw the focus to the humor in the story. To do that Mrs. Bennet was a larger focus of the action and the actor playing her was perfect in drawing her larger than life. The audience loved her.

Makes me want to re-read the book to follow their train of thought in working out this delicious adaptation.

Another plus was the "talk back" with the cast after the show - good questions from the audience brought forth some interesting answers from the cast. I was particularly interested to learn that the principals, who have done the play together before, often change some of their scenes - i. e. the proposal-
as a way to keep their performances fresh and spontaneous.

An afternoon at the theater - so satisfying and invigorating to be drawn into another world. I walked out of the theater wanting to come back to see it again. Hmmmm, who knows.....

Sisters

1. A sweet memory to add to my collection as I review 2011.

Ellouise and Lynda in Granny's front yard at 2308 E. 7th Street.
circa 1942

During WWII Daddy joined the US Army Air Force. We were so proud to wear these "over-seas" hats he gave us. And, we worked hard to learn a proper salute.

When I was in Charlotte this past February I told the story of the day I started the first grade at Elizabeth School for an assembly of first and second grade students. Elizabeth is the school where Daddy took me the on the first day of school and then left for the "war." Being back at Elizabeth School is one of the sweet memories from this past year.

My sister Lynda lives in North Carolina and I talk to her often. Sometimes we talk about the "old-days" and share memories of people who are gone -- but mostly we share the "dailies" of our lives so that we know each other well today. We laugh, exchange recipes and talk about our grandchildren. I am grateful for her friendship and appreciate and admire this loving, compassionate woman - - - who is my sister.

Three Beautiful Things

1.  Grandson Dan's high school football team won the North Coast Championship game last night in an exciting cliff hanger game. Today they were selected to compete in the CA High School Bowl Game next week-end in Southern CA against a team from Fresno. Ahhhhh the excitement continues.

2.  A Christmas treat for our family group here in MD was an afternoon at Round House Theater for the well-reviewed Pride and Prejudice. Its a favorite for all of us and this production did not disappoint. Supper afterwards at a local La Madeliene so we could review the play - - 4 thumbs up.

3.   Grateful Jim is feeling better after a really rough ten days. Thanks be to God.

Re-gifting

A Williamsburg Wreath to keep the spirit of Christmas in mind.

16 days until Christmas.

Will I shop?
I don't think so - unless it is at home.


I am not a Mall person.
Actually dislike the jostling crowds
and the over-whelming temptations
that have me bending and breaking my plastic cards.

I think I will carefully select
and re-gift
items I already have.

Nothing wrong with that  - -

Give items I once loved
that have been gathering dust
A second chance.

It will be a kind of
Occupy ---
a sharing
if you will.

I can tell you one thing

Jim will approve.

This will be a Christmas
for appreciating 
the richness
of the blessings we already have.

Jim is my greatest gift. 


What's your's.

Video, Quilting, and Reviewing the Year.

"Air Vigilante", one of my favorite stories, told here at a House Concert with Bernadette Nason. Such a lovely day!

As this year winds down
its nice to remember
the sweet moments
of the months just past.

Do you do that?

Its like picking out the happiest
and prettiest
scraps
when piecing a quilt.

I tell a story, "The Cussing Cover"
where when a woman made a quilt
she sewed in all the heat
of a bitter quarrel with her husband.

Seems to me
its makes more sense
to sew in all the love you can gather
and sleep
wrapped in that comforting warmth.

Grateful for:

 
Here's looking at you, kid.


Grateful for:
Delicious homemade chocolates from MyLinda. Yummmmmm.
Not something one receives every day.


But mostly for:
Thoughtful compassionate children.
and
Dearest Jim.

Master Class, Storytelling Concert & 7

Seven
collage
e. schoettler

Tired tonight. Its been a very satisfying day - story wise true  - - but I produced it and that is tiring.

Started the day early with completing the tasks for producing Plot to Narrative - Elizabeth Ellis' new workshop.  Great project, loaded with information that can help storytellers jump their stories up several notches. Its great - and I recommend you find one of these days with Elizabeth and sign up. She leaves you empowered to develop stories to be proud of.

Her storytelling concert tonight was excellent. The group gathered in the intimate Kensington Row Bookstore - a space that complements the storytelling art form.
Any time with Elizabeth Ellis telling stories is FINE!

Shower of Gold

Sometimes its hard to recognize blessings when they fall on you.

Story is the Family Connector

Gus Keasler:
 Clemson College Football Team - 1904


 This year I discovered my grand-father, Gus Keasler. I tell his story in
Finding Gus . He was a missing link in our family. Finding him answered questions and it opened doors.

 But perhaps most important knowing Gus provides a wonderful hook to connect his time and our family today.






Clemson College Football Team - 1904
20 year old Gus Keasler is sitting in the center of the front row.

This year for the first time I am following the Clemson Football team and rooting for them. Proud and happy for them over their strong season - because I feel connected to them. I know that Gus is there with them when they play their home games - he is remembered on a brick on the terrace where the players enter the field.
Gus Keasler, 1904, 1905 - - -

Have you ever noticed that at half-time on TV Clemson shows pictures of their historic teams? I can't help but feel it as a "southern" thing. And, I am grateful for it. Its that same impulse that brought me to storytelling and holds me there - the need to tell the stories of my family and to connect the threads of the past to today.

For instance: our grandson is a Senior in a California High School. He plays on a football team that
everyone thought would place last in their city. But never under-estimate the under-dogs, right?
These guys have proved themselves to be the "little team that could." They finished first in their city league - undefeated - and have won two of the bigger State play-off games against much stronger teams. Next week they tackle an even tougher challenge. Its like a chapter from the popular TV show, Friday Night Lights.

I look at our Dan wearing his sleek blue and white well-padded uniform - and I think of Gus. It makes me happy to tell Dan about his great, great grandfather - a South Carolina farm boy who was recruited to Clemson by the fabled John Heisman 107 years ago when football was in its infancy. Just as Gus lives in his story - - - I believe he lives in Dan.

You see  - - I believe that if you know the stories and connect them - they will both live on and on and on - adding new pieces as time goes on.