Slogging Through Christmas
A tree from a Christmas "Past".
For days I have been reliving many of the 57 Christmas holidays Jim and I shared. They carried sweet memories and I have cried "buckets."
Last year I fled to California for Christmas to escape having my first Christmas after he died here at home. I learned that you can't escape the feelings but distance does dull them down a bit.
This year I stayed at home. Home is the house Jim and I bought 43 years ago. It is filled with days, hours and minutes that we shared. I dodged having a big tree and opening all the boxes of ornaments. We carefully wrapped and saved our ornaments - our Christmas Tree has been a family album and we shared the tree-trimming giving time to remembering as we unwrapped each item. Always a special evening - with our kids or on our own.
I was okay without a tree but my son surprised me by walking on with a 4' artificial tree with the lights embedded. I still left the old ornaments downstairs. I trimmed it with small silvery "diet coke flip-up openers" and small red artificial apples. Actually it looked quite nice. And, Jimmy was right, I was glad to have it.
The one in the house most over-joyed to have the tree has been my kitten - turned cat. The first two days I guarded the tree because she was determined to have those red apples. They looked just like balls to her. Finally I removed the cat to the downstairs. For several days it was a power- struggle between me and the cat .
Until, I took a nap Christmas evening and the cat had a clear run at this green thing she perceived as a giant cat-toy. A loud BAM startled me awake.
So today I am picking up the pieces and putting them away.
I may be using them again next year.
Just like I am picking up the pieces of my life as I move toward a new year - 2014.
There are still some mighty challenges -
December 30 - our Wedding Anniversary - is just 4 days away - This would be our 58th Anniversary,
There is a lot to think about between now and Monday.
But at least I won't be putting up another tree.
Posted by ELLOUISESTORY